Dawn of the Dead (remake 2004)

OK, Quiet Friday, time for a sneaky afternoon movie.

Dawn of the Dead is a remake... usually I hate such things, unless the original (1978) really sucked, but George Romero remaking his own film had to have gravitas so I gave it a look.  Also Tom Savini show's up in the movie as the 'cool mother' on the news broadcast (And as "Burt Reynolds" I think, uncredited).  Plus this was always my favourite of the 'Dead' movies so it had to be done.

The opening was suitably icky with some brilliantly done angles looking out over the horizon at distant fires, city wide devastation and a high speed crash happening just below.  I couldn't tell what was real and what was CGI which is I guess the ultimate aim of such tech.  During the credits (And later in the film) there was use of stock footage from all kinds of real world disasters and rioting / disturbances which gives this a genuine 'end of the world' feel.  Chaos, chaos, then there is the pristine perfection and peace of the shopping mall.  Complete with instrumental Mu-sac playing 'Don't Worry be Happy' in the background.

It doesn't last long of course before we end up with a nice mix of everything that is good and bad about humanity locked in together.  This is never going to end well, even without the madness beyond the walls.  Max Headroom is there too by the way!  ;-)

The result is a blood filled mixture of death, gore, resurrection  heroics, sacrifice, sleaze, death, and all the best bits of your usual Zombie movie, with a twist... these monsters can run, no more Scooby Doo speed differential nonsense.  You will recognise the plot if you've seen the original but there is enough different to have you wondering what will happen next.

Tom Savini doesn't do the make up special effects as he did in the original but don't worry there is still an uncomfortable realism to the yucky bits since the rest of the industry learnt from him!  If you didn't know, Tom was a combat photographer in Vietnam and attributes much of the realism in his work to the horrors he saw and photographed there.  I've added a wiki link above if you want to read about this under recognised hero of the horror genre.

In summary if you like Zombies, you will like this.  It's as good as they come; but oddly I still rate Shaun of the Dead as the best all round entertainment Zombie movie.  Not often a spoof steals a Genre.

Avengers Assemble (Where's Purdey?)

The latest instalment in Marvel's increasing collection of superb super hero movies based on it's HUGE catalogue of comic book heroes...

First of all I should do what seems to be the essential thing with this film...

OMG, wow, Awesome, can't wait to see it again!!!

Right, now that is over I can be honest and say that this was a very fine addition to the stable.  But really not so amazing.  When you take 4 characters that we know and to whom you have already dedicated one or two films to in back story, and throw in a few new ones, some of whom are barely more than maguffin, you inevitably have a situation where you can dedicate a lot of the movie to the plot (Such as it is).  I personally enjoy the origins movies a great deal but I know some people find them a bit slow to start, the original Hulk movie was particularly bad for this.  As was Spiderman, arguably the original Superman (I know Superman's not Marvel!).

Anyway, because there wasn't much need for all that stuff this film kicks off at a fair pace and builds swiftly into a breathtaking action fest.  There are two mystery additions to the team who sadly get little or no introduction but to be honest it works.  I didn't catch their 'super hero names' but I'm reliably informed they are Hawkeye and Black Widow.  I'm also guilty of not having seen Thor so maybe there is more to them in that.

The interaction between the members of the new 'team' is fiery to say the least and it all kicks off nicely with all the egos in one place.

My biggest problem was that with Thor being virtually indestructible, the Hulk being virtually indestructible, Iron Man being virtually indestructible, and Captain America  being virtually indestructible, I didn't really feel that any of them were ever in any real danger.  Sure Iron Man got some scratches and Captain A got a cut on his shoulder but really.  We need to see more vulnerability if the action is going to give us any real tension.  I'm not saying there was none, but there should have been more.  Even Superman had his Kryptonite.

I have a few small issues too with the never ending Quiver ... which then miraculously ends! And the fact that Hulk seems to suddenly grow a brain, albeit a small one, but some of the stuff going on is pure genius. The Hulk definitely steals the show when he's on screen.  I like the New Banner, he's much more appropriately geeky and scientist looking, but hey... can we have the same one for two films running?

You do get to see New York get bashed up again.  What with Alien invasion, Rampant Super Baddies, The Gangland Underworld effect on Jason Statham, terrorist Threat, Godzilla, more Aliens, Ice Ages, Aliens, Tidal Waves, Armageddon of various sorts, oh and did I mention Aliens... I think I'd probably not choose to live there.  

Can't wait to see what Marvel do next, hang on until the swooshy credits finish to get a possible hint....HAHA (In proper Nelson Muntz style) to all those who leave at the first sign of text.  Shame on you.  Maybe we'll get an origins movie for Giant man, or the Wasp?

Personally I'd like to see Avengers vs Justice League.   That would make about as much sense as the ever rumoured Superman vs Batman film.

The long and short of it is, if you like Super Heroes you WILL LOVE this film.  So go see it, just don't bother with 3D.

Don't forget to look for the Stan Lee cameo!!

Safe-ly what you'd expect... but a bit more.

Safe is fairly typical Jason Statham fodder.  Lots of Jason getting all moody and fighty.  You know the bad guys are gonna get it.

I shalln't go into too much detail as I don't want to spoil the film but if you like action movies, car chases, people getting shot and kicked and thrown out / off things then you will probably enjoy this a lot.

The film does by chance give you a glimpse into the poor and lawless underbelly of New York; so desperate is this that it is hard to believe it could ever exist in so low a form.  Sadly there is plenty of evidence out there to suggest the poverty at least is very real.

The action had some nice cliché breaking scenes that made me smile.  Those bits in a film where you think, OK, action movie rulebook page 19... the scene where our hero does this and that happens... Nope.

Oh and from an acting point of view, and there is some, there is sufficient characterisation to genuinely want to see the back of the bad guys and see the heroes win through.

All round pretty good for this kind of film.  I'd happily watch it again in a few years when I've forgotten how it ticks.

Oh and as an aside, it's a bit wobbly in places, especially the start, so don't sit too close to the screen if you get sea sick!

John Carter (Is this the worst film title ever?)

OK, so no, it probably isn't the worst film title ever, that goes to 'Murder by Numbers' which was specially designed to make you think it was a cheap afternoon TV movie; but seriously!  With the exception of the people who know the original story this title is going to be meaningless until you see the trailer.  I can't imagine anyone jumping up from the title and saying "WOW, I HAVE TO SEE JOHN CARTER, What's it about?"

Maybe I'm being over critical, but at least with 'The Abyss' or 'Avatar' you have the "What the hell is that about?" factor that makes you at least look.  This title is reminiscent of a 1960s Michael Caine movie.  Not that those were bad but they were in a far less competitive world when films had film stars that drew people in.  Now it seems perfectly normally to have a huge blockbuster movie where most of the audience couldn't name any of the cast on sight.

Anyway, assuming something in the promotion machine has caught your attention, if you go and see this 1960s style thriller, what you'll ACTUALLY get is somewhere betweeen Dune (Don't let that put you off), Star Wars, Avatar and  well Stargate I suppose.

I don't want to give away too much as there are one or two bits that could be spoilt.  In short John Carter winds up on Mars helping two warring factions settle their differences with the aid of a third group of another species.  There are lots of things waving in the face in the first 10 minutes to make you feel like your extra few quid for 3D was worth the money.  After the first 10 minutes they don't appear to have screwed up the film with repeated 'let's show off the 3D' nonsense.  You will be treated to some lovely almost seamless CGI with tall aliens, flying machines, a few monsters and massive Mars-scapes abounding in what is often a bit of a road trip movie.

For the record, I thoroughly enjoyed the film, but then I thoroughly enjoyed Hudson Hawk.  That doesn't make it an excellent film.  The story is a bit predictable, but then it's hard to do anything new and surprising any more, the effects are unimpressive if only because we've seen the Star Wars Prequels and Avatar and the twist at the end is, well, not exactly a surprise.

So this film is average, but you and the kids will love it and be happy to have spent a couple of hours of your life watching it.  It just makes me a bit Sad.  This should have been massive, awe inspiring and thought provoking.  And yet it fails largely on familiarity grounds, a bit like watching a teen movie where our hero fails to notice his perfect partner that's always been his best friend until the end and after his object of desire turns out to be a bitch.  We just know where it is going.

It misses the mark with all the religious and moral ground it dips a toe into by keeping it simple enough for all the family.  Probably no bad thing, and we all know that anything that pokes a finger at God crashes and burns in the USA.  (Golden Compass for example!)

I can't knock the story as it's been around for a very long time (Edgar Rice Burroughs 1912, also Author of Tarzan), it's just a shame it has had so much of it's plot hijacked before they got around to making this film.  The only saving grace is that this could, potentially, spawn a series of films, potentially better and less wrapped up in 'origins' territory about a whole new world with endless possibilities... oh... that's Avatar too.  Time will tell, but at an estimated budget of $250 million dollars, someone is going to need to cross a lot of fingers for this one.